Ode to Antony

When Antony joined Ajax in july 2020, for a fee of almost € 16 million, we had never heard of him. Next moment we’re throwing our hands in the air, looking at each other in disbelief of the things we’re seeing. 

You might think it’s always been fun to be an Ajax fan, Johan Cruyff and Edgar Davids and total football and all that. But in more recent times, during the Frank de Boer years especially, it’s been pretty boring. 

Forget Edgar Davids. The best player we had in those days was Kolbeinn Sigþórsson. Ever heard of him? No? That’s what I mean. 

Then 2019 happened, and Ajax got to the semi-final of the Champions League. We saw Frenkie de Jong put Luka Modric on his arse, we saw Hakim Ziyech drive every right back in Europe crazy, we saw Donny van de Beek with his tongue out, pointing to us in the stands after scoring another banger. 

Then these players moved on and we were afraid this had been a once in a lifetime experience. Something we could tell our children, like our parents told us about Cruyff, but no longer a reality. Not in our lifetime. 

Next we watched this video, raised our eyebrows for a good second and settled in for Antony’s debut. 

Immediately we were struck by the sheer energy he brought to the pitch. Like a bolt of thunder injecting his team with power, his style of play made us feel we were watching something truly powerful again. 

We watched him tear apart the entire Eredivisie, from Kerkrade to Rotterdam. We watched him show who’s boss in the Champions League, where he put in stellar performances against teams like Borussia Dortmund and Sporting Lisbon. 

We watched him almost-headbutt Benfica’s Darwin Núñez, demonstrating he not only brought the samba, but also a good dose of fighting spirit. Something we needed, used as we were to good boys like Frenkie en Matthijs. 

A couple of weeks ago, we watched Antony curb stomp FC Groningen defenders, and it felt like that time Zlatan scored this classic goal against NAC. It was near the end of the transfer window, and we knew what this meant: goodbye. A big club was going to come in and swoop him up. 

And we were right. 

Whether Antony’s record-breaking transfer fee will be justified remains to be seen. But in any case, now it’s the Manchester United fans’ turn to enjoy the beauty, electricity and shithousery Antony has in store for them. 

And God knows, after all those boring games during all those boring years under all those boring managers, they deserve it.  

Football isn’t meant to be boring. It’s meant to be exhilarating, tantalising, joyful. So who cares about that transfer fee: Antony is all of those things and more.